An epic epic.

This is the beginning of the epic saga of Melancholy Tortoise and the Whirling Snowballs of Sassafrass Hill. It is a story written for and dedicated to my good friend Rebecca Box, and it is only after dreadful, heart-wrenching, whistle-blowing, pig-racing, earth-defying deliberation that I choose to share it with you.

You are indeed privileged.

A note - (the kind that is often put at the beginning of such an epic saga as this one which you are about to read if you keep on reading, which you should - I think in this case we might venture to call it the Befloorward):

Befloorward: Lest you scorn the indications of instant messenger which you will find in this tale, let me simply state that this is an integral part of the story form, and while it may be wondered at for its beauty and many incredibleness-es-es, it is not to be laughed at or looked down upon.



You may now begin.






This is the beginning.
yaychilidogs: twice there was a little bunny mouse. He had no friends. That was sad. Three day he was running, bouncing, or hopping along when suddenly he ran into something hard. Later - about 2 seconds later - he discovered that it was a tree. Now if you are thinking that this tree became his friend, and from then on he had a friend, I will tell you that you are thinking a silly thought, for though a tree is alive, it cannot very well be a bunny mouse's friend. No, that was not the case at all. What was the case was that in this tree lived a spotted lemur gecko. Now you may be wondering why this particular spotted lemur gecko lived in this particular tree, but I will not tell you, for that has nothing to do with my story.

yaychilidogs: Neither do tacos and breakfast burritos and 15 millimeter wrenches. Which is why I won't talk about them either.

Well the bunny mouse rubbed his head, for this is something that bunny mice do occasionally, although not usually after hitting their head on a tree, but this was a unique little bunny mouse in many ways. Another of those ways in which this bunny mouse was unique was that he rode a tricycle to work. Most bunny mice merely swim.

In any case, this bunny mouse rubbed his head and looked up, only to see the spotted lemur gecko brushing his teeth. "What an odd spotted lemur gecko" thought the bunny mouse, for most spotted lemur geckos brush their hair instead of their teeth. But I probably do not have to tell you that this was a unique little spotted lemur gecko.

memyselfi4 is no longer idle at 12:21:44 AM.

yaychilidogs: There he sat, brushing away, while the bunny mouse stared at him with an expression of the utmost 1500 piece puzzlement on his face. "Ho there, spotted lemur gecko," he shouted downwards (for although bunny mouses can look upwards, they cannot talk upwards, only downwards. This is at times quite awkward for the bunny mouse. So it was with Hector, for that was this bunny mouse's name.)

memyselfi4: that was.....AMAZING!

Auto response from yaychilidogs: I like food alot because it is so good.

yaychilidogs: "Ho there," he said. "Do you like chocolate milk flavored snowcones?" he said, thinking that probably had nothing to do with anything, but deciding it was a good question to ask all the same. Little did Hector the bunny mouse know that chocolate flavored snowcones comprise exactly 13.4 percent of the average spotted lemur gecko's diet.

yaychilidogs: Johnsonwhite (for that was the spotted lemur gecko's name) looked down in some surprise, for he had dropped his toothbrush.


Will Johnsonwhite ever wear his purple scarf? Will Hector fight the evil krillimajangerplot and win freedom for his people? These and many other crucial questions will be answered... but you will all have to suffer in cruel anticipation until such time as I am once again so brilliantly inspired.

to be continued...